


the city breathes (and we do too)

by infinitude



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Ben Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Canon Compliant, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Good Brother Ben Hargreeves, Good Brother Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy), I just really love these two, Sibling Bonding, also all of tua was filmed in toronto so that's where im basing this off of, also this isn't. a romantic relationship they're siblings and they're 12, and since the show never explains five's relationship with ben, i figured i would!!!, it's like both?????? i guess??????, takes place before five time travels, they're conspiracy bros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 00:16:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18304391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinitude/pseuds/infinitude
Summary: He was twelve when he realized it was the silence that got to him.or, Ben and Five have some rough nights and sometimes you just need someone to talk to.





	the city breathes (and we do too)

**Author's Note:**

> _"It's time to begin isn't it_   
>  _I get a little bit bigger_   
>  _but then I'll admit_   
>  _I'm just the same as I was_   
>  _Now, don't you understand?_   
>  _I'm never changing who I am"_
> 
>  
> 
>   
>  _It's time // Imagine Dragons_

He was twelve when he realized it was the silence that got to him.

Five was fully aware that he was loud, from his mumblings to himself to the sound of him pacing his room as he struggled to solve a problem to even the slight sounds of his pen scribbling equations down against pages upon pages of notebooks. That being said, he wasn’t perpetually in motion. There were rare moments of peace with the boy, times he wouldn’t feel the need to occupy every moment. That kind of silence was treasured. That wasn’t what got to him. No, it was the kind of silence that swallowed everything as if the sheer weight of it was enough to subdue even the most obnoxious Hargreeves child. The kind of silence that was thick with thoughts and worries.

If he was being honest, Ben wasn’t completely off base when he had said that quiet coming from Five’s room was almost always a bad sign. Some nights his thoughts kept him up with a fervour, pushing him to move and write and think and do _anything_ and _everything_ all at once. Those were the loud nights. At least then his actions could distract him. But, on other times, there was nothing. An all encompassing stillness weighed down his bones, the pressure from the days of training dragging him down to a standstill.

It was one of those moments for Five. He found himself staring at the equations he’d written on his window, a dry-erase marker clasped far too tightly in his hand. The numbers blurred together, looking foreign to his tired eyes. He didn’t remember when his breath had caught in his throat or when he’d stopped writing. It was ridiculous, really. Standing around and staring at the numbers wouldn’t get him any further in his studies. Wouldn’t get him any further with his abilities. It wouldn’t get him any closer to the satisfaction of seeing his father’s face when he exceeded all expectations.

Spite was quite a powerful motivator.

He would have gotten back to his equations if he hadn’t heard a noise from the other side of the hall. The distinct turning of a doorknob broke through the silence only to be followed by complete quiet once again. The damage had already been done, though.

_Dad._

He was forcefully pulled out of his trance, the familiar glow of blue light surrounding him as he pulled himself away from the window and to his bed, swiftly shutting off the lights and pretending to be asleep. He hadn’t pulled himself under the covers -- realizing he hadn’t had the time to do it securely before someone could get into his room. He would have to work on that. Punishments for staying up past curfew were things he could avoid. It wasn’t like the times he would do things he knew would get him in trouble because he needed to prove a point. It wasn’t like the times he would act up to pull attention away from his siblings. This was just  _stupid._ If he got in trouble for staying up late, it was for no reason. He couldn’t have that.

That was how he’d explain why his heart was beating far faster than he thought it should. He tried to level out his breaths in an attempt to imitate sleep, the action also succeeding in calming him down. Five was not weak. He was not a scared child. That was why he would never say that this was his immediate reaction to the idea of his father finding him here. It was why he would get mad at himself for it later.

That later never came, though. Footsteps did.

Someone who definitely did not sound like they were his father padded across the hall and ever so slowly opened the door to Five’s room. He clutched the marker defensively. It would have to do as a weapon. The lights were turned back on.

Then, a voice.

“It’s just me, Five.”

With a quiet sigh, all of the tension seeped out of Five’s body. He opened his eyes, allowing his thoughts to calm down as his focus landed on a familiar face. _Ben._ Of course it was just Ben. It was just the two of them on this floor, after all. Their own personal hiding places. His moment of peace was shaken once he assessed Ben’s appearance. The other was clearly distressed, his eyes slightly red and his hands pulling at the hem of his shirt. It reminded Five of when they were younger, back when they all had numbers rather than names.

Was it selfish to say he missed those times?

He sat up, running a hand through his hair in both discomfort and an attempt to sort it out. To say that Five was bad at comforting people would be an understatement. As it were, that seemed to be Ben’s area of expertise. He was always the sibling Five would defer to when he was saddled with an upset Vanya or Klaus. Four-Five-Six-Seven. How wonderfully they all used to fit together when their number had tied them down.

Maybe he was selfish.

“Are you okay?”

His question was hesitant, unsure of whether he was supposed to feel concerned that his brother turned up in his room in the middle of the night or annoyed for the exact same reason. Ben seemed to sense this conflict, smiling faintly and looking around the room as the ghost of a shrug moved his shoulders.

“Of course. I just like appearing at random in your room some nights. It’s a pretty fun pass time, you should try it.” 

So, he wasn’t okay but he also wasn’t ready to talk about it in depth. Five could work with that. In fact, it was a lot easier for Five to work with that than it would have been for him to deal with all of Ben’s feelings right off the bat. He nodded, pushing himself off the bed and through a jump so he could grab a notebook from his bookshelf as well as a pen. 

“I was just about to go somewhere. Do you want to come?”

Ben’s quick nod was the only response he needed before he carefully opened his door and gestured for Ben to follow him. This was why Ben was one of his favourites, he reminded himself. No unnecessary questions, no pointless pestering, just quiet solidarity and understanding. They barely even needed to speak.

One perk of having powers like Five’s was the ability to get to places you wouldn’t otherwise be able to. He lead Ben down a series of halls before pulling himself the familiar blue light and through to the other side of a door. He quickly unlocked it and opened it for his brother, leaning on it casually as he waited for him to pass through the door frame.

“You’re getting better at that.” There was a small smile pulling at Ben’s lips, his eyebrows raised in a joking yet questioning manner. Five scoffed. 

“Of course I am. Training isn’t for nothing.”

That was the end of that. The pair made their way up the stairs across from the door, making their way up into the attic. It was a small room, the construction of which was clearly unfinished. There were a few boxes and pieces of furniture scattered around the room, but what interested Five the most was always the window. It was a small window with so screen preventing someone to go through it and a ledge thick enough to sit on. Outside, the lights and sounds of the city were muffled by the glass.

He moved past his brother who was currently inspecting the unfinished walls, if you could even call them that, to put his pen and notebook on one table before opening up the window. He watched as Ben froze in his peripheral vision, taking in a breath that he most certainly would have been able to hear moments before but was now silent in comparison to the cacophony of sounds from the outside streets. His attention finally caught what Five was doing and he quickly moved to join him beside the window. Five moved to sit on the ledge.

Allowing his eyes to close, he leaned his head against the window frame. There were cars passing by, the distant sounds of honking and engines revving filling the air. Some people passing by were talking loudly, their drunken conversations floating across the street as unintelligible noises. The city _breathed._

“You can sit with me. If you want.”

Ben, who had seemingly been waiting for the invitation, did just that. He swung his legs over the ledge, letting out a breath and slouching slightly as he folded his hands in his lap. He took a breath in through his nose, closing his eyes as well. For one perfect moment, it was just them and the city. There was nothing else that mattered. No missions, no training, no projects, no dad.

They stayed like that for quite a bit, too. Ben’s gentle breathing and the sounds of the city were the only reminders for Five that he hadn’t frozen time without realizing it. Ben was the one who broke the peace. 

“I think that one’s Scorpius. It’s only visible in the summer, but we can never really see anything here.”

He followed as Ben pointed to a constellation in the sky, the details of the stars fuzzy and distant due to the light from the buildings around them.

“Which one is our constellation again?” He knew which one it was. He also knew that Ben knew he knew, but that didn’t change anything.

Ben placed his hand back in his lap, eyes still focused on the sky. “Libra. It would be best visible a bit earlier in the summer for us, so we definitely can’t see it right now.”

They lapsed back into silence for a few moments as they watched the sky, eyes focusing in the dark to try to see more and more stars. Again, it was Ben who broke the quiet.

“It was a nightmare again.”

Five had figured just as much. Ben had been getting nightmares ever since he discovered his powers, terrible dreams of him doing awful things without being able to control it. He was also pretty open about his dreams. He had a lot of an easier time talking about it than Klaus, who Five knew had nightmares but hadn’t told him anything about them. If Five was being honest, he half-assumed the only reason Ben came to him despite his inability to help was because he and Five were the only two with rooms on their floor.

“I don’t know what to do. Dad keeps telling me to control them but I don’t know _how_ ,” he had continued once he was ready, “Training is useless when no one knows how to train them. I can’t stop thinking about the missions and all of those people and everything _I_ did to them without being able to control it.”

His hands were no longer in his lap, having moved to squeeze white-knuckled aground the ledge.

“So, I got up and I wanted to read, but I couldn’t focus because I just kept seeing _everything_ and I just --” he took a deep breath, shaking his head and.. Laughing? “-- I just wanted to talk to you. To distract me, like you used to. But your room was so quiet for once and I wasn’t sure if you were even awake until you turned the lights off and then I wasn’t sure if that was you telling me you didn’t want to talk to me.”

“What’s the point of having a room across from yours if I avoid you constantly?”

That made Ben laugh again, his grip loosening slightly on the ledge. “Yeah, you’re right. And how fair would that be? I always humour your three o’clock ramblings about the latest unsolved case you heard about.”

“Hey, sometimes I just need input on my-”

“You can say that you like talking to me. It’s okay, I know you do.” There was a hint of cockiness to Ben’s voice that made Five raise his eyebrows at him. In response, Ben just raised his hands by his head and raised his eyebrows as well. 

“Sure.”

Five moved from the windowsill, pulling himself through the blue and into a different spot in the room. He picked up his pen and notebook, looking around in it for a specific page.

“Oh, come on! You know it. You _love_ me, Five.” 

A smile pulled its way across his face as he watched Ben stand up from the window and walk over to him in his peripherals.

“Whatever you say, Ben.”

The brother in question took a grab for the book, Five’s reflexes kicking in as he jerked away from Ben and pulled himself through yet _another_ warp to position himself on top of the table. Ben continued trying to get the book, grabbing onto Five with one hand while reaching up and jumping as Five continued to write. 

“You can say it! I’m your favourite brother, and you care about me so much.”

Five closed the book, holding it over his head and humming in thought as he tapped his pen against his lips, his smile growing. “I tolerate you sometimes.”

“Five! _Five.”_ Ben looked in equal measures exasperated and happy. Wasn’t that always how he felt around Five, though. “Come on! I know you love me!”

“Okay! Fine. I-”

His confession was cut short when they heard footsteps climbing the stairs. Their eyes locked in a moment of panic. Maybe they’d gotten a bit out of hand. They were being pretty loud. Before they could get out of the awkward position with Five on a table, holding a book over his head, and Ben holding onto his leg, one arm outstretched and reaching toward the book, Pogo emerged from the stairs.

“Boys.”

Ben instantly shot away from Five, the latter scrambling down from where he was situated on the table. They stood side by side, facing Pogo and waiting to hear what punishment they’d receive for this. Five could hear Ben holding his breath. 

“It is far past your curfew. Go back to your rooms immediately. We will discuss this in the morning.” 

“Are you going to-”

Ben quickly cut Five’s question off by grabbing his wrist, talking over him. “Of course. Goodnight, Pogo.”

The pair made their way back to their rooms in silence, Ben never loosening his grip on Five’s wrist. Just as Five was about to ask to be let go so he could go inside his room, Ben turned to face him. It took Five a moment before he realized Ben was waiting on him to talk.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” When Ben didn’t respond, only raised his eyebrows with a small smile, Five sighed. “Fine. I care about you a lot, even though you are insufferable at times.”

Ben looked satisfied with that response, letting go of Five and nodding. “You’re insufferable all the time, and I care about you too. Goodnight.”

He was twelve when he realized it was the silence that got to him.

He was also twelve when he realized he would always have someone there for him when it got too quiet.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first Umbrella Academy fic I've written so!! I'm incredibly sorry if it's terribly ooc and other things like that. If there's any mistakes or huge character issues you've found please point them out so I can either fix them or work to avoid them in things I write in the future. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
